Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Two-fer-Tuesday {pt. 2} Chubby-butt-check-in 11/30/10



     It's that time again. Time for chubby-butt-check-in. Oh boy.......I am so excited. *NOT* We just goth through Thanksgiving, where I feasted on tons of veggies. But I've also feasted on tons of delicous stuffing too. And let me tell you, nothing about the holiday cooking is low-fat or health concious. I bathed my turkey in a basting of white wine and sherry. Sauteed the mushrooms in butter and used pork saussage. 
     Have I exercised and used Wii fitness like I had avowed to for the past two weeks? Of course not. Because I have legitmatly felt like poop. The doctors have ruled out my gall bladder and appendix, and told me to see my primary if anything. So off ot the primary again I went, who feels that it is my IBS w/ Constipation which is causing my sickness. How IBS could have me yammying like no tomorrow is beyond me. PLUS I got the flu shot and now my arm hurts like a mother.
     But like a good girl, I pulled out that acursed scale a nd hoped on. And I was taken by surprise. Because I LOST WEIGHT!

Today's chubby-ass-check-in on November 30th, 2011 I weighed 149.5 pounds.
How do I feel about it? I am SURPRISED.
What will I do about it? Try and stay true to my word by Wii fitnessing and of course keeping tabs of my W.W. points and logging down.

Two-fer-Tuesday {pt.1} The Great Sugar Cookie Debacle






     Tis the season to get your baking joy on. For those of us who enjoy making delicious treats for noshing on as well as sharing. I love to cook and bake. LOVE IT. Especially if the recipe is damn worth repeating. And one of my favorite Christmas cookies to bake are every child's favorite; sugar cookies. Biting in to a thin, crisp sweet cookie which can be just about any shape: star, ornament, tree, snowflake dusted with powder sugar or sugar sand or crystals. The possibilities are endless.
     A dear friend of mine has decided to throw a Gold Party (you know...where they buy your unwanted cash.) And at said party will be a psychic as well as a cookie swap. So I decided to get a jump on the baking, and make a batch of freezer-friendly cookies...so when it comes closer to the date, I just decorate and go. Makes sense right? Well being that at the holidays I'll be stepping out bunches, I decided to double the recipe. Again....no big deal. I've made this recipe in the past and knew it was (a) a good one, and (b) worth doubling. So the other day I made the dough, and put it in the fridge to chill, as per the directions. The directions stated that the dough could stay in fridge overnight.
     So this afternoon, with laundry in the machines I decide to have some special Aunt Ida time. (That's having Ida do something with me, that makes her feel helpful.) So I figured we'd cut the cookies and bake them. I could roll the dough, and she could stamp out the shapes. Easy-peasy. Well, that's what I *thought*.
The dough felt nice and solid and cool as I removed it from the fridge and placed it on the floured table. It rolled BEAUTIFULLY, and I was stoked. Let the cookie baking commence! I decided to do a trial run, and stamp the first few and then place on the sheets. Cookies cut, and I went to lift them from the floured table and.....................................................................nothing. Wait. What? They should be lifting up with ease. I try again, and the dough actually doesn't budge, doesn't roll as I try to reform it on to the dough ball. IN FACT, it actually SMUDGES! So I had to postpone cookie making, as I get the bright idea to put all the dough in the freezer, and make it get almost solid to roll out and then stamp the dang cookies out.
     Off to work I head, and my thoughts drift to cutting out these cookies, so I can have that jump on baking that I craved, and do other things which I want/need to do. I get home, eat dinner and go in to my 'cookie-making' mode. Remove the dough from the fridge, it feels good to me. (Does it feel any different from earlier.........not too sure.) Flour my table which brings back the thoughts of how long it took for me to scrape off the ookie dough earlier and clean up. Plunk the dough on the flour and roll out. Stamp out a ton of cookies and if you must know the shape....they were Christmas trees. I go to lift the first cookie up..........and.....................................................NOTHING. NOTHING!!! Practically glued to the table and laughing at me. Again, I try to roll the dough, to put more flour...and it just mushes in to my table top as if it is mocking me. Knowing how I am going to have to work at getting this dough crap off the kitchen table. And it was as easy as that. I took *all* the sugar cookie dough and tossed it in to the trash can. I scrubbed and scrubbed until all traces of cookie crap was cleared. I tore up the sugar cookie recipe and chucked it out. I have no idea what went wrong and why. I had measured everything out perfectly. I want to cry and scream and am almost tempted to go to the grocery store and buy that pre-made crap which is manufactured by 'the dough boy'.
     But I know me. I am going to Google sugar cookie recipes until my eyes cross. I'll consult Foodtv.com and all the bakers I know for a failproof recipe. And I'll go through all the motions again to craft my sugar cookies. If anyone knows of a good cookie recipe.........................I'm listening.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Aerosmith Apparel reasonable priced, and then again..........maybe not

     So it's official...I am back on the Aerosmith band wagon....so to speak. As today is Black Friday, they web site for the group e-mailed me a bunch of sale promo's. Which of course enticed me to look, and I was shocked at how reasonable some of the stuff was priced. So I picked several items which I feel I must own.

Priced for the little folk...aka reasonably priced items:

 Priced at $29.99 this is a bargain. Considering it is band apparel and on the site. Plus I have become a huge fan of hoodies over the past few years. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302662/prodid/1358768

Priced at $24.99 I have to say again, very reasonable. Plus it's a thermal and we know how I freeze my ass of. Plus it is rock chic....so deff a must-have for me. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302662/prodid/1358837

It's cute...it's classic looking and at $18.99 a steal. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302662/prodid/1348407

This is a real bargain priced at $29.99 for the set. It's brown, which doesn't make me *love* it....but it is velour, thus warm, and can be paired with many bright colors. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302662/prodid/1237541

What the hell were they thinking....aka you need to have $$$ to burn:

It's a ring. And it's priced at $99 on sale. Granted it's sterling silver...but really? $99 for an Aerosmith ring? Why couldn't they offer it in other options to make it more reasonable? http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302666/prodid/308138

Oh just what I've always wanted *note sarcasm* a Joe Perry Pick charm. No chain included, and it is $89.99. Must I repeat, NO CHAIN included? http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302666/prodid/1236933
*Note: The Tom Hamilton version is $59.99. Why such a price difference?*

It's a necklace which pays homage to one of their classic hits. And at $189.99 you can have someone stare at your neck/cleavage area and wonder what the heck is written on the dangle. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/302666/prodid/1336593

It's the 2009 concert ticket holder. It comes with the set list, photos, a pin, and a spot for your ticket. And at $249 per unit, you can be reminded at how crappy your seat was as you could only afford the nose bleed section. http://aeroforceone.com/shop.cfm/pk/category/ac/detail/cid/873338/prodid/1188911


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Two-fer-Tuesday {pt. 2} Chubby-butt-check-in 11/23/10




     I do *not* feel sparkley. No, not at all. But I am a girl who likes glitter, so I am sticking with the Two-fer-Tuesday sparkle font right now. This way it make each Two-fer-Tuesday post special and stand out. Oh the joy of that.
     So right now I am being Princess Pissy Pants because I weighed in on W.W. this morning, as per the weekly routine. Being that I have been feeling like crap, have survived since Friday night on salltines, soup, and tea. I figured I'd have lost a nice aount of weight to have made my suffering worth it. But nooooooooooooooooo. When I weighed myself this morning I was ready to fling the scale out the window.

Today's chubby-ass-check-in on November 23rd, 2011 I weighed 151 pounds.
How do I feel about it? I am NOT happy.
What will I do about it? I will start logging getting more exercise, as long as my health is up to it. As I swore last week, to do the Wii fit, but had no batteries. I have gone out and bought batteries, so now I am able to keep my word.

Two-fer-Tuesday {pt.1} I hate being sick


     See that? Like a good little blogger girl, I am sticking to my word, and will post to the world TWO posts on Tuesdays, keeping it Two-fer-Tuesday. Next thing you know...I'll decide only to eat foods which start with the letter "T" on Tuesdays, too....to keep in theme with the Tuesday blog. Then again...most likely not.
     I have been sick. I hate being sick. I really don't know anyone who enjoys actually being sick. But I'm sure there are those out there in the world who do. Because you know, then it makes them feel like they have the right to act like assholes. Anyway I am sick, and I am not happy. I'm really not happy about being sick because (a) I feel like crap, and hate feeling like crap and (b) I am afraid this is going to mess with my enjoyment of Thanksgiving Day. I am a HUGE fan of Thanksgiving Day....from watching the parade, to eating all the yummy food stuffs, to taking a nice big nap and then chowing down again that night. I love the cooking, and all the smells which waft through my kitchen on Thanksgiving Day. But I digress.
     I am sick. I got sick on Friday afternoon, when I was out with friends. What should have been a super fun day turned in to having me stick my head in a bag and barf my brains out while I had one friend begging me not to puke next to her (because then she'd puke), and yet another friend behind me asking if he should document my puking, and sending me text's about not puking. Yep...I have some amazing people in my life who keep things interesting. There were no other symptoms...no sore throat or headache or anything other than the horrid puking.
     Saturday, I still felt crappy, and couldn't hold anything down, so mom forced me to go to the doctor. Still, other than the nausea I had no other ailments. The doctor is someone new, as I just got a new health insurance and he did not exactly appreciate my sense of humor, nor my love of Grey's Anatomy. He did inform me, upon examining me that my ears, nose and throat were all clear. When he depressed on my tummy though, I commented on pains.
     So then as we were wrapping up the exam, he said to me 'Ok, this is what your course of action is. Stop watching those medical shows, and take yourself to the hospital.' Mom and I look at one another, and start laughing (because what kind of instructions are those?) Mom says to him, as we realize he's looking at us like we're insane, 'Are you serious? You want her to go to the hospital?' And he says 'Yes, I do. She may be having gall bladder issues or possibly an appendicitis and I can not test her here as we do not have the equipment.' Now mind you, we were supposed to do our Thanksgiving shopping....so this definitely threw a wrench in our plans. Mom then asks 'Does she have to go to the hospital right now?' And once again, the doctor gives her this incredulous look and says 'YES! If she is having appendicitis you do not want to risk it getting worse.'
     We go to pick up Ida her lunch/dinner as we figure we'd be in the hospital for a while...and off we go to Stony Brook University hospital which gave me the most amazing treatment, and fast-tracked me as well. I had my own privet room in the E.R. with teevee, and as we waited to get me fixed up, got to watch POTC III. The nurses and doctors were  very attentive, and gentle and wanted to get to the bottom of my ailment, as when they pressed my belly the pains were acting up. A sonogram of the gall bladder found that to be ok, however they located a cyst on my ovary. Then I had to drink this goopey stuff which is contrast for the cat scan of my appendix. They made it taste as pleasant as possible, mixing it with Crystal Lite and walking me through every step of what I would feel and how the test would work. The cat scan can back normal, and needless to say my appendix is fine so they discharged me as they could not diagnose the problem.
     I still have the nausea and headache, and today is Tuesday but it is waining. I really think it may just be sinus pressure and back drip although the stupid medical doctor said sinus's were OK. What worries me are the pains in my tummy, but they aren't consistant nor always in the same place. So I will just have to monitor them. Like I said in the beginning of this entry......I *hate* being sick!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

It's time for me to whine as I drink my red, red wine

     Today was, I think the lowest day that I've had in a long time. I'd say a year....but let's not be that hopeful. We'll say it was the lowest day I had in six months. I am riding wave after wave of hurt, surprise, anger, and betrayal, trying to wrap my head around the things I was told today.
     I had thought to have an amazing set of new friends, people whom I considered my extended family and felt that I had their backs, and they had mine. Well my bubble of false bliss was popped this morning when I woke up from a text from a dear friend, which read 'are you awake? we need to talk.' Whenever you get a text like that...you just *know* it isn't going to be about something happy. You're not going to hear from the other party 'guess what....I won the lotto.'
     Instead I get slammed by my dear friend that our circle of friends felt like (a) I was not being my own person, and allowing my mother to sway my feelings and opinion. (b) That my mother was trying to take over the paranormal group which we're a part of. (c) That my mother is being too bossy and 'mother' like, and that people don't need another mother. (d) That it is not right that I am treasurer of the group, being that I am a founder, and that if things did not change...that they'd leave the group.
     I knew that my friend who was relaying all this to me was hurt, because some of the things which she had been told were outright allegedly said by my mother directed at her. And I knew that my mother does not feel these nasty things about said friend which were stated. I mean my whole happy world crumbled around my feet at 9:37am EST. Shock and hurt, and disbelief bombarded me. Because now I had to go, and somehow tell my mom all of this as it was being directed at her. And deal with any backlash from her as I know she'd feel blindsided too. So I told her. And I had to remind her that sometimes her tone can be a little harsh...and she needs to choose her words a little more carefully. (Hey I have had 34 and 1/2 years dealing with her. And yeah....I know both sides of her tongue.)
     And as the day went on, my feelings turned more to hurt. Did these people really think poorly of me, let alone my mom? Were they so apt to talk about me behind my back as opposed to talking to me? Did they not like the fact that I spoke my mind, and that they were unable to sway me? Were they trying to force me out of the group? Did they not trust me? Dd they not think I was pouring my heart & soul in to this venture of ours, let alone was I qualified to partake in the tasks I was handling?
     So like a little kid, packing up their toys because they didn't get their way, I informed the 4 people I was supposed to road trip with tomorrow that I would not make the journey. Just like that. Simple. To the point. No false reasons, no excuses. Just a simple e-mail to them 'Sorry, I won't be joining you tomorrow. Have fun.' It wasn't a ploy to have them beg me to join them. It was just that my heart was broken and my pride bruised. Mom in turn called my friend and had a heart-to-heart with her while I was at work. Meanwhile I started receiving e-mails from those who I would have been joining tomorrow asking if I was ok. Really? REALLY?!?!? Now you have the fucking nerve to ask if something is wrong? Gee, thanks for your false concern. My feeling is....why should I have spent the day with them, when they're talking about concerns pertaining to me behind my back and not to my face? Why be with them if I wouldn't enjoy myself?
     Anyway, like the big girl I am, I called my friend (from this morning) to continue our conversation. Because she was the one who was voted to break the news to me about how everyone else was feeling. She and I are good. And that's ok. Because we had the balls to voice what needed to be said to one another. And we did so, with concern for one another's feelings. Do I really feel any better about everyone else? Not really, I kinda feel betrayed. And now I have a feckin' headache to go with this. But I also did change my mind and decide to go to feckin' New Jersey with them tomorrow as planned. Because you know.....being grown up, and growing as a person sometimes means facing things and hearing things which we won't love but handling the situation.
   Now if only my headache will go away. Perhaps I should have another glass of Merlot.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Christmas isn't just for kids ya know............

So I have reverted to a 14 year old girl tonight, when shopping in Wal-Mart with Mom. This is bad, because I was sooooooooo tempted to ask mom to buy me this item for my Christmas gift. Why is this bad, you may ask? BECAUSE. I am an adult. I do not *need* any thing from anyone to acknowledge the Christmas spirit. I really don't. If there is something I want, I can buy it...unless it is something out of my budget range. Which is a lot of things. But my point is....I can buy myself stuff that I want. I told mom that all I *did* want this year was the Hallmark recordable Christmas book. Because that has meaning, and that is something I will cherish forever.

So what is this item that had me regressed to a giggling, crushing 14 year old as I clasped the item to my chest and squealed 'Oh this is SO awesome!'               Here we go:
http://www.amazon.com/Buffy-Vampire-Slayer-Spike-Love/dp/B000AQN894

Which then brought me to think about items I would like for Christmas...but again don't have rhyme or reason to ask for them:
Recordable Storybooks Available in Limited Quantitieshttp://www.hallmark.com/online/in-stores/recordable-storybooks/?mc=T_S_G_HL_GC_RSBGOOGSCH

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/600-Thread-Count-Embroidered-Sheet-Set-with-Bonus-Pillowcases/5034356/product.html?rcmndsrc=2
nookhttp://www.barnesandnoble.com/nook/index.asp?PID=34323&cds2Pid=35700#logo

 I don't know what web site you can actually purchase Colin, but if anyone has any connections, let me know.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/connect-ipod-car-stereo2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/gadgets/automotive/connect-ipod-car-stereo3.htm&usg=__2RHVzxC1NTtqrueR-r018r3aQsc=&h=300&w=300&sz=30&hl=en&start=1&sig2=0LtdQSxLL7Cx-xJV9Jklyg&zoom=1&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=vKqYv8hk3qUz1M:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dipod%2Bcar%2Badapter%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1R2GGLL_en%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=B3TkTImuHIabOrHm5ZIB

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Two-fer-Tuesday {pt. 2} Chubby-butt-check-in 11/16/10

So I am chubby....always have been, and probably always will be. I'm Italian. I grew up in a family that when you visited a relatives house they fed you. And you DIDN'T say 'no'. I wouldn't say that I'm a sweets lover...never have been since I was a litte kid. Don't get me wrong....I do enjoy a nice dessert every now and then, but I'm not a big fan of candy, and even the desserts...if it's not there, I'm not looking for it. I like food. GOOD food. And yes, I am a foodie, meaning I enjoy shopping at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and trying the exotic things which aren't always diet friendly. Let alone watching Food Network.

I follow....(followed?) Weight Watchers, and it is truly a great program. I had a goal weight which I set for myself which was to be 134 pounds for my 34th birthday. Which was in June. Well the birthday came a nd went, and although I was close to the goal weight...didn't reach it. Yeah, I guess that kinda bummed me out. And as usual life happened, and I slowly but surely fell off the Weight Watchers wagon.

So now, here it is November 16th 2010...a week after mom's birthday (no more delish b-day cake) and yet a week before Thanksgiving. I weighed myself like I do every Tuesday morning, and did not like the number on the scale. In fact, I think I stuck my tongue out in response at that damned scale. And at that moment, decided it was time for me to take back control over what I put in my tummy...and get BACK on the Weight Watchers wagon. So this I vow...each Tuesday I will post to you what my weigh-in weight is and how I feel about it. If I made something delicious during the week, will post the recipe too. This weekly chubby-ass-check-in is to help keep me motivated and also to maybe have recipes swapped as well as to offer support and motivation. Because I know a lot of us have diet drama.

Today's chubby-ass-check-in on November 16th, 2011 I weighed 151.5 pounds.
How do I feel about it? I am NOT happy.
What will I do about it? I will start logging my foods down daily and drink more water. Also will get back to Wii Fit since I am not dancing anymore.

BODIES (Musical Fun-a-palooza) {Two-fer-Tuesday pt.1}

Okay....so I was all set to blog this morning, and share some scary stuff about myself...in order to get my chubby-ass back on track with the diet. Then, when I was perusing the blogs which I follow, came across one from my girl Michelle...which made me stop and run upstairs to get my I-pod. You'll see what project she had me work on in just a second. But this also made me decide that on Tuesdays I will post TWO entries, making it Two-fer-Tuesday. Oh aren't y'all so lucky? LoL. So post back my friends...but be forewarned, that my answers with this musical questionaire even scared myself.

Put your music library on shuffle.

For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.

Ok, go!

1. If someone says, “love,” you say? Honey, Honey- Mamma Mia Soundtrack

2. How would you describe yourself? Killer- Queen

3. What do you like in a guy/girl? Next Go Round- Nickleback

4. How do you feel today? Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - George Michael & Elton John

5. What is your life’s purpose? Boom Boom Pow- Black Eye Peas

6. What's your motto? Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickleback

7. What do your friends think of you? Release - Timbaland & Justin Timberlake

8. What do you think of your parents? Bella's Lullaby - Twilight Soundtrack

9. What do you think about very often? Summer In The City- Lovin' Spoonful

10. What is 2 + 2? Youu Can Leave Your Hat On- Joe Cocker

11. What do you think of your best friend? California Dreamin'- The Mamma's & The Pappas

12. What do you think of the person you like? Tango Till They're Sore- Tom Waits

13. What is your life story? Gett Off- Prince

14. What do you want to be when you grow up? Flawless- George Michael

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like? Creep- RadioHead

16. What will you dance to at your wedding? Thriller - Michael Jackson
17. What will they play at your funeral? What It Takes- Aerosmith

18. What is your biggest fear? Paper Thin Hymn- Anberlin

19. What is your biggest secret? Fire- Ohio Players

20. What will you post this as? Bodies- Drowning Pool

Friday, November 5, 2010

Steven Tyler vs. Joe Perry.....does a girl really need to choose which?

     I <3 love <3 Aerosmith. I mean....I love kick-ass Aerosmith. I have been a fan of theirs for 22 years. I think that they're so kick-ass that I actually have their logo tattooed across the small of my back. My favorite guitar player of all times is Joe Perry...to watch him do that thing he does, and lose himself in the music, just makes me wild. The way Steven and Joe play off of one another is just classic, and I do think when these five bad-boys of Boston take the stage, they make up one complete person.

And there is no denying that I found Joe Perry sexy. There is something primitive to his looks and essence. And when he plays that guitar, contorting his body in to these funky positions, yeah...I wish that I was the guitar he runs his hands over.

HEY A (BROWN-EYED) GIRL CAN HAVE HER DREAMS AND FANTASIES. RIGHT? RIGHT?!?

But now at the age which I am, and the lack of new material coming from the best band from Boston....my love for them has diminished slightly. Although they will always be my favorite band, and I *DO NOT* regret my Aerosmith tattoo.....I'm just not feeling them like I used to. Plus their personalities, as they age are becoming more visible. Where as Steven Tyler is one to support charities and do good, Joe Perry is all about making the all-mighty dollar...selling his old equipment on e-Bay for his own personal gain, while also slandering his supposed best friend. And as you know you know someones inner beauty/ugliness is always apt to come to the surface...and honies.......Joe Perry isn't looking too fine, if you know what I mean.

Joe Perry's inner-ugliness is coming to the surface, and he is not aging well AT ALL. It is hard for me to even see the young, hot Joe who used to turn me on. And let's not think I'm just being snarky. Steven isn't the cute Demon-of-Screamin' any longer either. There's something botox-y or facelift-ish which just doesn't sit right with me.

So you can imagine my surprise and wonderment this morning, when I woke up from a baffling dream which included Joe perry, Steven Tyler, Ida, and this brown-eyed girl. WTF, yo? Let me share my dream/wonderment/nightmare with you all....because  it is rather funny, to say the least.

The dream:     Ida and I are up in the North-East area of America.....turns out we're in Maine. I'm scouting for a venue to have the NYSIP Christmas party at, as I want to make it special for my group. I meet the catering manager, and he makes me walk up these freaky, steep stairs, meanwhile I'm wearing my gothic boots, with the 5" heals and commenting that these steps are murder. The manager disappears, and I wind up talking to and flirting with this dude who is real cute. He winds up leaving, and then I come across this other guy who I like, and am thinking of hooking up with. (Yeah, this is a XXX dream...lol.) Anyway, Ida and I have to go back to Long Island to pick up a camera, and the dude is all "Yeah, you'll never make it back tonight...it's a long drive." And I'm all "Yeah I will....see ya later." So Ida go back to L.I. and are heading back to Maine...and I see the dude working on the bridge (I have no clue.....) so I call his cell and tell him I'll be back but now he's all "Yeah I changed my mind."

So anyway, here's Ida and I sitting in some hotel bar, in MAINE.....and who comes strutting in but Joe Perry and Steven Tyler. And I'm all 'wholly crap, Ida...it's Joe and Steven....JOE & STEVEN!!!" And she's in her glory because it's Steven Tyler....her rock-love. So of course I start chatting them up, all friendly yet casual....acting like I don't realize who they are. And then the drinks start flowing, and Steven and I are flirting with one another. And at one point Steven goes to to play a video game, and I ask Joe what the hell is up with him shoving Steven off the stage the past summer. So Joe admits how all his adult life he had been married to Billie, and how she wore the pants in the relationship and he couldn't do anything without her around. And then one day she gave him an ultimatum that it was either her or Steven...and he blurted out he was choosing his friendship with Steven....and that was the end of his relationship with his wife. But after he thought about why he chose Steven over Billie, he realized he didn't love Steven....but he was IN LOVE with Steven. And for three years he has been secretly in love with Steven, but Steven doesn't reciprocate his feelings, so he chucked him off the stage in a  fit of frustration and anger. And of course the romantic in me is all gooey, and I want them to be together so I ask Joe if he admitted his feelings to Steven. And now all my Joe love is coming to the surface, and Steven returns but I'm like totally not in to him, and all chatty with Joe as Ida chats it up with Steven, and Steven is trying to give me the high sign to go back to his room. But I am totally not making eye contact with Steven because of my Joe Perry.

Then Joe is all flirting with me, to make Steven jealous...so I decide to help him out....and am flirting with him. And Steven either doesn't care or is oblivious to the whole Joe love. Anyway, Joe asks me if I wanted to go back to his room...and I'm shocked. "But I thought you were in to Steven?" I ask him, confussed. And Joe Perry is like "yeah well....you're easy on the eyes and I haven't gotten any lately...so I can bone you. Plus it will get under Steven's skin that I stole his girl. But we have to get to my room without him seeing us. Otherwise he'll never let us split." So Joe and I are very stealthily sneak off to his room....and we're making out, and getting nakkid and wandering the halls to his room in a lusty, drunken, nakkid rush. We come to this crossroads of corridors, totally naked, and there's these vending machines of floral arrangements. And now Joe is all upset because he wants the purple flowers with the butterfly in the arrangement, because he has a small penis and he wants to compensate for his small penis. So now I'm thinking to myself what the hell happened to this cat. small penis issues, gay and yet he's going to screw me. So I firmly tell him he doesn't have a small dick...that it's the biggest I ever saw...and pick him a floral arrangement to get him to his bedroom.

Now we come to his suite (which he's sharing with Steven of course) buck-ass naked and I'm like 'DUDE! You don't have the keycard to get in to your suite." But he's like 'The maid left the door open." And sure enough the door is open, we get in the room, and the decor is very mod style. Cubes and lime green and orange. (What the hell did I smoke before I went to bed???) So anyway, we love-wrangle our way in to Joe's bedroom and have mad, wild, passionate sexually confused rock god/horny chick sex. I spend the night with him, and he's very sweet and then we hear Steven trying to go in to Joe's bedroom. So Joe tells me that I have to hide or Steven would go berserk. SO now I'm making a mad dash to find somewhere to hide in Joe's bedroom as Steven comes in, bitching about the 'broad who teased him, and then blew him off' the night before. And he's bitching and complaining about how the woman got him hot and bothered, and then stood him up...and he missed out on getting laid by another woman because he was waiting for his first pick to show up. (The woman/ first pick being me.) So I'm hiding in this 'closet' type thing with metal door, and sure enough Steven wanders over to it as he and Joe are talking, and he's griping about how Joe has a closet in his bedroom but he doesn't have one in his.

Now he opens the door, but is looking over his shoulder, so doesn't see me....so I pull the door closed. He's tugging on the door to open it to see the size of the closet. I'm holding the door closed with all my might....and not succeeding very well.

I feel someone tug on my arm, and I'm jolted from the dream....eyes flying wide open sure that I got busted hiding in Joe's closet.

But alas and THANKFULLY I AM NOT IN Joe's CLOSET BUT IN MY BED!!! Turns out the kitten startled me awake by tugging on my arm so she could snuggle. Why the hell did I dream of Steven Tyler and Joe Perry? At least in my dream they were the younger versions of themselves. But seriously....look at the now. EEEwwwwwwwwwww. And how bizzare was this dream and what the hell does it mean? And where did it come from? FML!!